Delores stepped onto the launch pad on Help Island. She was stunningly beautiful with a sassy, angular short blonde haircut, high cheekbones and stylish grey pant suit. She turned slowly to the right and surveyed the landscape. On the launch pad were about seven others, four women, three men. Included in the group were Ell Inglewok, Tiff Aristocrat, Dougie Slingshot and Tigrezz Shamrock.
Delores heard a screech-like sound and looked around to see where it came from. She couldn’t really tell. It may have been a catcall, but she wasn’t sure.
Like most everyone in her view, Delores was perfectly proportioned — she stood about 5’8″ and weighed 120 lbs.
Delores bravely took a few steps forward. Kajai Kerdunja was walking towards Merly Nottingham and the two of them started to talk. Delores knew they were talking, but she didn’t really understand what they were saying nor could she figure out how to get in on the conversation. She moved sheepishly toward a group of three people. She was pretty sure they weren’t speaking English, but again, she was at a loss as to what sort of language they were speaking. The screen to the left of the launch pad flashed with a series of dashes and dots that formed a heart and then another grouping of dashes, dots, x’s and small o’s that formed a triangle. Someone was defintely trying to say something to her. And then she heard it before she saw the screen lit up with it: YAY!!!!!! Tiff Aristocrat was signaling by writing a stick figure on the screen. YAY!!!!!! Tiff kept yelling out.
Delores opened her mouth. Nothing came out. She walked toward the screen and touched it. No repsonse. There was a secret here on the island about how to communicate and she didn’t understand. The thing was, she wasn’t sure she cared enough to solve the mystery.
Delores felt the need to move, to make something happen. If she couldn’t figure out how to talk, maybe she could go somewhere. She moved to the edge of the island and leapt up. Ah! She could fly! Wow. Delores soared over a deep blue ocean and felt the rush of the wind. This was fantastic. Now she was getting somewhere! After 1 minute or so of flight, Delores panicked. She thought she would see another island or a boat or somewhere to land. There was nothing for miles. Damn. She did a 180. She’d have to go back to Help Island.
Back on the island, Delores looked around at a few billboards that looked as if they might be portals to other places. Just as she started walking toward one, her pants started to feel incredibly tight. She looked down. Her svelt thighs were burgeoning out of the slim grey slacks. Her belly, her breasts, even her face all started plumping up. Oh no, how could this be? She was becoming dull and average. Her creator right-clicked and was messing with her proportions. What was happening to her perfect Second Life?
Creator: “What would happen if we make Delores sort of fat?”
Evil Assistant: “Do it, do it!”
Creator: “There, now what should we do?”
Evil Assitant: “Here, let me move her and make her say something.”
Evil Assistant types, “Hey everybody, does this outfit make me look fat?”
Dougie Slingshot: “Ah, actually Delores, yes it does. You are fat.”
(Everyone who was standing next to Delores laughs and then turns and walks away.)
Delores Lemondrop: “Hey, where’s everybody going? Don’t hate me because I’m fat.”
Ell Inglewok: “BAAAAAAAAABAAAAAAAAAA BYE BYE BYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Creator: “Wow, they actually ran away from her because she’s fat. Here, let’s move her to a different place.”
Delores is positioned at a dance club called “Big Daddy’s 80s” club. Everyone is dancing and having a good time. No one notices Delores when she walks in. She’s stiff. All she can do is walk forward, right and left. She is not gyrating and grooving the way the others are and there are no prompts to tell her what to do.
Evil Assistant: “Here, let me get Delores some help.”
Delores: “Hey, how do you dance?”
Bine Sorbet: “It’s not about ‘HOW’ Delores, you have to FEEEEEL it!”
Delores Lemondrop is stuck in Second Life at “Big Daddy’s 80s” club, waiting to feeeeel the beat.
